The Guide to Geek Glasses

I fully admit that I am probably maybe a little bit sort of definitely a hipster, despite the fact that I don't know a whole lot of bands and I could take or leave PBR and I don't use Instagram for the very simple reason that I don't have a smartphone. I'll give you all a moment to recover and go light a hemp candle or whatever it is you need to do to return to normalcy. I'm kind of ish very close to being a hipster mostly because I love scarves and flannel and wearing glasses when I have 20/20 vision.

Rachel and me. And YES. I'm wearing a scarf. And plaid flannel. And an Explosions in the Sky shirt. And fake glasses.

I'm not the only one, right? Spectacles are GREAT. They're excellent accessories (they're in that rare category of being okay as Third Accessory), they make you Look Smart (if you choose the right pair), they can cover for you if you're having a bad mascara day, and, I've found, that they can even help get you in the right frame (badumpsh) of mind to be productive. True story.

1. Much like being funky, the key to wearing geek glasses is to Own It. Be confident! You have miles of hotness for which the glasses are simply a window!

2. Don't be afraid to get super large frames or a funky pattern, just don't do BOTH.

3. Retro is always a good play.

 

I was trying to find a picture of ugly retro glasses that no one could pull off, and I just couldn't find any. Seriously. It is possible to rock all kinds of vintage looks.

Wear glasses, friends. Even if you have 20/20.

Let's Get Funky Tonight

I was trying to remember where I got the phrase "let's get funky tonight" and then I realized, with a mixture of bemusement and horror, that it's a Dream Street song. (Listen to it all the way through, do it you won't.)

The back story of this picture is a Top Shop trip, where I intended to buy nothing but try on what I expected to be hilariously funny outfits. In the background, MJ is clearly amused. It's a bit hard to see, but I'm wearing leather pants and a fur vest.

Realizations I came to while wearing funky clothes:

1. If you own it, you can probably pull it off. This is a ridiculous outfit. And so is this. But if you can stand up straight, smile at passersby, and decide that you look great, then ya do. 
2. Find some way to pull all of your funkiness together. The easiest way is to use a common color without being matchy-matchy. Don't be like Paris, for numerous reasons, but also because she's looking like she's trying too hard to make everything work. And trying too hard is a BAD THING. Be like Garance Doré, who very subtly uses blue to pull those outrageous pants and the army jacket together. I'm a wimp, so I used black, which goes with everything.
3. Have at least one or two things that aren't TOO funky. The butterfly tunic, for example, is reasonably not-funky. The pattern isn't wildly offensive and the colors aren't cray-cray. The necklace, while trendy, is pretty low-key. Ms. Doré (her again) is wearing a simple blue chambray shirt and plain-Jane flats. Not only does this save the eyesight and sanity of anyone looking at you, but it lets your other clothes stand out.
4. When in doubt, aspire to be Iris Apfel.