The Guide to Geek Glasses

I fully admit that I am probably maybe a little bit sort of definitely a hipster, despite the fact that I don't know a whole lot of bands and I could take or leave PBR and I don't use Instagram for the very simple reason that I don't have a smartphone. I'll give you all a moment to recover and go light a hemp candle or whatever it is you need to do to return to normalcy. I'm kind of ish very close to being a hipster mostly because I love scarves and flannel and wearing glasses when I have 20/20 vision.

Rachel and me. And YES. I'm wearing a scarf. And plaid flannel. And an Explosions in the Sky shirt. And fake glasses.

I'm not the only one, right? Spectacles are GREAT. They're excellent accessories (they're in that rare category of being okay as Third Accessory), they make you Look Smart (if you choose the right pair), they can cover for you if you're having a bad mascara day, and, I've found, that they can even help get you in the right frame (badumpsh) of mind to be productive. True story.

1. Much like being funky, the key to wearing geek glasses is to Own It. Be confident! You have miles of hotness for which the glasses are simply a window!

2. Don't be afraid to get super large frames or a funky pattern, just don't do BOTH.

3. Retro is always a good play.

 

I was trying to find a picture of ugly retro glasses that no one could pull off, and I just couldn't find any. Seriously. It is possible to rock all kinds of vintage looks.

Wear glasses, friends. Even if you have 20/20.

How to Wear Really Really Short Things

You've seen her. That girl on the subway, walking down the street, etc. The drunk girl wearing the dress without the underwear (you know, because the bottom of the dress has definitely risen a few inches since she put it on), who can't stand on her 5" heels. Don't be her. There are really only 4 rules for this "How-To," and your mother already probably told you three of them.
1. Bend over carefully, or don't bend over at all.
2. Keep your legs crossed. [You should have learned this one the first time you wore a dress]
3. Try to pick really short things that don't have a tendency to ride up.

***Fun story: I own a white LBD (I know, I know, but it's the best way to describe it) that has a liner. The dress is by NikiBiki, and looks fantastic on me. I'll post pictures as soon as it's done getting a zipper installed. The dress has a liner...that is only anchored at the top of the dress. Needless to say, the first time I wore this dress out, I got a lesson in "riding up." The entire night, I was either pulling the liner down or the dress itself down. People definitely saw my underwear. You live, you learn, and you sew the liner to the inside of the dress.***

4. How much you drink should be directly proportional to how high your heels are and how short your dress is (refer to previous post on how not to die in high heels). Know your limits. The "Bucket of Unknown Liquor With Sugar" is probably not a good drink for this outfit. But hey, your prerogative.

My favorite short dress (that I have a picture of) is from Tobi:

Photo courtesy of Chad Stephenson Photography

#YOLO chicas; don't be shy about showing off your legs before you get cellulite! XOXO